The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.

Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

A dog’s parents never visit.

Dogs do not hate their bodies.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

You never have to wait for a dog—they’re ready to go 24-hours a day.

Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.

If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you.

If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your hotel room for free.

A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad, they just think it’s
interesting.

If a dog leaves, it won’t take half your stuff.